Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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