S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
