Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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