Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
