At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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