I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She announced her abortion via fbk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
