So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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