im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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