Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i think i just lost a toe
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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