have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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