So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
