I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
