you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Bring me that man meat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
