I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
