it hurts more in the daytime
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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