yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
