allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
