so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm at about main and main street
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
