More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
