whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
