I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
try to milk me bitch
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize