If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
