If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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