are you so shy because you have an std?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
