All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
