Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
40s are totally the cure
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
