that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
