you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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