it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
