we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
