Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize