Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
