we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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