Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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