It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
