do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
