wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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