I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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