so explain again why im purple
no
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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