So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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