Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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