I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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