Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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