I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize