please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
