i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
