do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
