I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize