So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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