The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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