I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
