What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
