I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want to make out with him forever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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