David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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