I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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