can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
