Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she peed on how many people?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
