in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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