is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
