Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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