Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize