Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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