youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
