I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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