That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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