p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
