Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
