umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
