He had one of those small greek statue penises
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
