im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
