I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
