Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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